“The insufferable arrogance of human beings to think that Nature was made solely for their benefit, as if it was conceivable that the sun had been set afire merely to ripen men's apples and head their cabbages.” Cyrano De Bergerac
Stuck in traffic because we don’t have enough roads? No, you’re stuck in traffic because the cops got your road improvement money.
The cops in McLean spent $20,000,000 of your money...…money that won’t go to schools or road improvements or a library……because they wanted to make a few improvements to their office space. Twenty million dollars’ worth of improvement. Constructing a new building would have cost less.
“The roof has been leaking for years and we don’t have anywhere to park our cruisers,” said Supreme Allied Commander Janickey.
Leaky roofs? Oh come on. The red necks you hire never knew a roof didn’t leak until they came way north to Fairfax County. How do you think they got water into the house?
When we in the non-millionaire class have a leaky roof we don’t build a new $20,000,000 home. We repair the roof. You call a roof guy, he shows up with a hammer or something and closes the leaks and you pay him.
So are we clear, Mister Howl? You repair the roof you don’t build a new building. I don’t care what “That’s Gerry with G Dearie” Hyland told you.
The second “good” reason Commander Spendthrift has to build a $20, 000, 000 addition to the existing police station (while salivating at the possibility of building a second station a few blocks away) is parking.
That’s right. There is a parking shortage at red neck central so the morons are spending $20, 000,000 of your money on their home improvements.
“We don’t have anywhere to park our cruisers” Super Commandant Janickey whined.
Well, just park like you do at home back in Prince William County where almost 90% of you live….park on the front lawn next to the ole truck up on cinder blocks that don’t still work no how.
Star Fleet Commander Janickey apparently thinks we are all blind and can’t see through the open chain link fence around the McLean police station with its half empty parking lot and two dozen unused police cars sitting idly within.
Want more room in your half empty lot? Get rid of the two dozen cop cars you don’t use, that’ll give you room in your parking lot. Here’s another idea to make more room. Get rid of some of the 180 people you have on staff. You could get by with half that number of people on staff and you know it.
Since this is obviously a case of the police out of control we went straight to the bastion of control in Fairfax County, the board of supervisors.
“If I had a backbone, I’d stand up to these cops” said McLean area Supervisor John W. Foust “instead I’m going to pretend this isn’t an outrage and pray it goes away. If it doesn’t we’ll just toss more money at it until it does go away.”
“And I’ll be there to catch it,” said Sharon “show me the money” Bulova, although no one asked her.
“Of course they can have two new police stations and twenty four new cops for a crime problem that doesn’t exist!” said Supervisor “Gerry with G” Hyland. “Money is not an issue. I have spent my entire life in government and in those many years of avoiding real work I have learned that when you need more money you simply send someone out to the magic money tree to get it. And that’s exactly what we’ll do here. The people should kneel before the police to show how grateful they are. I’m always on my knees when it comes to the cops.”
In other words, the board of supervisors, the people you elected to protect your interests, have nothing to say on the issue.
So as you sit in traffic, late for everything and burning gas remember the words of Commander and Spend Janickey who said, “It’s a good time to be at the McLean station.” And he’s right. Life for your local police is very, very good.
